THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS OF THE DISCUSSED FILM. READERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
Christmas can be the time we are at our happiest while also testing our patience. No film showed that better than A Christmas Story.
PLOT
The film follows an adult Ralphie Parker who reminisces/narrates his favorite Christmas when he was 9 years old. At the time, the only gift he desired was a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle. He first tells his mother, credited as Mrs. Parker, but she doesn't believe the toy would be an appropriate gift, believing he would shoot his eye out. Disappointed, Ralphie would be determined to get the approval of another adult to get it. In his day to day life, he and his brother Randy would put up with their father, credited as The Old Man, curses nonstop when tending to their house's malfunctioning furnace. One day at school, his friend Flick (Scott Schwartz) dares the other, Schwartz (RD Robb), to stick his tongue onto a schoolyard flagpole. The decision would be so disastrous that he would be so stuck the fire department to get him unstuck. Shortly after this incident, their teacher Miss Shields (Tedde Moore) assigns his class to write a report on what they want for Christmas. This makes Ralphie determined to write one so good, his teacher will support him wanting the rifle. When coming home, the Parkers would encounter local bullies Scut Farkus & Grover Dill (Yano Anaya) who chase them at any given opportunity and hammerlock whoever they get their hands on. After coming home, the Old Man would announce recently winning a grand prize from a magazine sweepstake. When it arrives, it is revealed to be a lamp designed after a woman's leg in a stocking. It would also come with a shade that resembles a skirt. Although the Old Man loves it, Mrs. Parker is instantly uncomfortable of it. The following day, he would turn in his report to Miss Shields and after coming home again, he gets a package from his favorite radio program Little Orphan Annie. The package contains a decoder pin and when he decodes a message from the program, he would be disappointed to reveal it was only for an Ovaltine ad. Later that night, Mrs. Parker breaks the lamp 'on accident' while the Old Man tends to the furnace. He would be so disappointed on fixing it, he would bury it in the backyard afterward. On another day at school, Ralphie would give Miss Shields a fruit basket while other students give her apples, hoping it would sway to have a her final decision on his paper. When he goes with his family to pick up a Christmas tree at night, he would also help his dad change a blown tire. But when his parent accidentally knocks over the hubcap full of bolts, Ralphie makes a slip and curses in front of him. When his mom finds out, she punishes him by washing out his mouth with a bar of soap. Not wanting to rat on his dad, he shifts the blame on Schwartz, saying he learned it from him. The next day, he would go through another day of disappointment when Miss Shields grades his report a C, also believing he would shoot his eye out. Feeling defeated, he would take out his anger on Scut who mocks him after throwing a snowball at him. He would beat him up so bad Grover would run away, and Randy would rush to his mother to get him to stop. When both brothers believe he'll be in trouble, the Old Man actually respects his son defending himself when his wife downplays what happened. Feeling confident again, Ralphie believes only Santa Claus can help him get the rifle for Christmas. So he goes to a local parade and sees him at a local mall to ask for what he wants. Despite being honest, even Saint Nick believes he would shoot his eye out. On Christmas morning, Ralphie and Randy would get a handful of gifts, whereas the latter would get a toy zeppelin and the former would get an embarrassing pink bunny foot sleeper from his distant aunt. The firstborn would almost be disappointed until his father surprises him with the rifle. His spirits cheers up and doesn't hesitate playing with it outside, but the adults are proven of it to be dangerous when the BB ricochets and knocks off his glasses. When he steps on them on accident, he is able to make cover story to Mrs. Parker he slipped on an icicle. When she tends to him, a group of hound dogs that belong to their neighbors, the Bumpus family,romp through the kitchen and ruin the Parker's dinner by eating their turkey. Not wanting the holiday to end on a bad note, the Old Man takes the family out to eat at a Chinese restaurant. As the young Ralphie goes to sleep with the toy he wanted, his adult self gives his final narration to declare that present to be the best one he'd ever get in his life.
THOUGHTS
Early on in childhood, this was the oldest holiday film I had ever seen until it took my adulthood to make time for It's a Wonderful Life. Nevertheless, I cannot ever think the joy I have out of this film ever be topped. A decade apart from the slasher film Black Christmas, Director Bob Clark shook things up with something everyone has proven to make time for at least once in the holiday season. Even though this film takes place in 40s, it holds up well because you quickly relate to the premise. Us adults were children before, so we all have that period of time where we want something for Christmas because we believe worked hard enough to be gifted. And that is where it makes the rest of the experience funny to get through. We've had bullies and have breaking points with them, make regretful dares to our peers, swear on accident in front of family, get excited to meet mall Santa, or be a suck-up to your teacher to get a better grade. We're reminded of these memories thanks to an unforgettable performance by the young Peter Billingsley. As the narrator, Jean Shepherd does a great job expressing Ralph's current maturity, but it's really Billingsley that does the magic in showing him as a kid who wants to have the best Christmas movie and goes through everyday life trying to make that possible. We laugh at his comeuppances because he's learning the hard way you can't always get what you want but still be lucky once in a while. Seeing his whole journey play out mostly tells us persistence is the key to success. The proof comes from wanting the rifle the whole time and not changing his mind until he got it. Ralphie holds the memories of this time period very close to his heart because the end result was all that mattered, everything he went through was worth it and would likely do it again if given the opportunity. Ralphie steals our hearts like any lead in this kind of movie, but he's not the only one who kept things interesting. Ian Petrella definitely had his moment to shine as Randy who may have a similar attitude like his brother but lived for the little things. I was really feeling for him when he couldn’t put his arms down. He probably wasn’t even asking for a zeppelin toy yet he loved it the way Ralphie loved his rifle. That comes to show how appreciative you gotta be during the season. The parents were definitely stars of their own right as they were there in some of Ralphie’s most important parts of his life leading up to the biggest day of his life. You gotta give due credit when Melinda Dillon is onscreen as Mrs. Parker. She was indeed the most caring of mothers ever put on film due to how protective she was towards her boys. Put aside not liking the rifle, she was able to let them know there is nothing to fear when accidents happen. I don’t know if I were to encourage my kids to eat like kids just to power through eating unfavorable food, but it was too cute when she did the same with Randy because it felt real. I then of course got to applaud Darren McGavin. He may have been cranky for the most part, but he was a humble man who loved his family by the end of it. All he cared about was ensuring everyone enjoyed themselves during the holiday season and they sure did in this particular setting. It was honestly a surreal when he gives Ralphie the rifle because he knows one thing better than his wife: He’s growing up and he wants him to have the similar responsibilities he had in his generation. It’s the most realistic thing a parent can do and I applaud it. It was already moment to have me on the floor laughing when Jeff Gillen plays an impatient mall Santa and rushes the line to the point where he nudges Ralphie off the line and scares kids intentionally, as well as witnessing rude ass mall elves played by Patty Johson & Drew Hocevar. But it was another to be jumping off my seat when Scut got what was coming to him. The whole time, you would love hating on Zack Ward because he owns it in making him a despicable bully who was asking for trouble. He thought he was the toughest kid in the neighborhood and thought very wrong. I will continue to watch this every Christmas until my dying day, but it will not excuse the issues I picked up on after hundreds of re-watches at this point. For instance, I don’t want to judge Ralphie's imagination, but what kind of burglar climbs upside down? He’s giving himself a headache before getting shot for crying out loud. They even go over the shed instead of the fence. Ralphie makes them too dumb to root against just so he can shoot him. And I think he’s overreacting of a fantasy to believe his classmates would get Fs for their reports and still cheer him for being the only one with an A. It was already one weird continuity error for Ralph shooting from four burglars to five, but what really tripped me out was how Ralphie’s mom sets the top switch to open only for the next take to be the bottom switch. I mean that was too damn weird to notice. I did giggle that Randy’s winter clothes don’t fit, but why didn’t his mom have him try them on before it got snowy? Hand me downs or not, you gotta prepare for the worst and she so did not. And in all honesty, why does adult Ralphie censor himself when narrating the first time he cursed in front of his dad. ‘Oh fudge’ is quotable, but he wouldn’t be in the wrong to say ‘Fuck’ out loud because there’s no clarification if he’s telling the story to kids. On top of that, why would his mom believe him he got it from Schwartz when she knows damn well his dad talks like that almost 24/7. And taking a step back, what kind of teacher gives a student a C for wanting a BB gun? He had good grammar based on what he see in the paper. So if you ask me, a B would’ve been less hurtful. Moving on, I was even creeped out when one kid in the background shouted at Ralphie to kill Scut while kicking his ass. I know kids get excited about other children fighting, but that’s nuts of a thing to say. Ignore this then you’ll have as much fun as I have. Ignore this then you’ll have as much fun as I have. It’s definitely a funny payoff when even the mall Santa tells Ralphie he’ll shoot his eye out if he got the BB gun, but why would he care at this point? If he’s so impatient the day he met him, I don’t see the point of the comment. In short, A Christmas Story is the be all end all of holiday films for being relatable to this day on how children have their various expectations over the season. If you love Christmas and want your traditional viewing, this is the one you’ve been waiting for.
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