THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS OF THE DISCUSSED FILM. READERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
Catwoman has been looked at as one of the most iconic characters in DC Comics. After her breakout cinematic debut on Batman Returns, viewers were open minded for a new interpretation of the character to be portrayed onscreen. Was it worth the while? Absolutely not.
PLOT
The 2004 film follows Patience Phillips who works as a graphic designer for the cosmetics company, Hedare Beauty. The said company is prepared to release a new skin cream called 'Beau-line', which'll reverse the effects of aging. One morning, Patience attempts to rescue a cat from a ledge but as goes outside her window, passing detective Tom Lone mistakes it as a suicide attempt. He rushes to her apartment and saves her from falling. After thanking him saving her life, she heads to work in such a hurry that she drops her wallet without noticing. Lone returns it to her at her workplace, leading to both agreeing for a coffee date. At night, Phillips visits an R&D facility to turn in new artwork. However, she is chased away by security after overhearing that Beau-line has negative side effects but will still be open to the public soon. She hides in a water pipe, only to flushed into the river and drown. However, she is revived by the same Egyptian mau from the ledge. When returning home, she begins to be as agile and reflexive like any other cat. She gets herself fired when talking back to her boss George Hedare, owner of the company. Before that, She returns the mau to its owner Ophelia Powers (Frances Conroy), after finding the address on the collar. When meeting Powers, the woman takes notice that she gained the cat like abilities. At night, she foils the plans from the group of robbers by stealing jewelry they got to first. The following morning, she creates a stable relationship with detective Lone, unbeknownst to him what she's doing. She does see Ophelia again, hoping to get answers of her abilities. She shows ancient history that the goddess Bast represents duality in all women. She claimed that the mau knew her day would come to die, testing if she would be worthy to be given what she has now. She shows her pictures that many have been a 'Catowman' before her. With a clear conscious and a new disguise, Phillips uses her abilities to go after who killed her and why. When finding one of the guards, he claims he didn't know who she was and didn't know why he had to get rid of her, only that it was company related. When returning to the R&D facility, she finds the scientist Dr. Slavicky (Peter Wingfield) dead. She is then mistaken for the murder when a janitor spots her. When going to George's house, she meets his wife Laurel and explains the side effects to her. Accepting the truth, she gives her an address and phone number to keep in touch. The next night, she confronts George at an opera of the scandal, but he claims to have no idea about it, before she is chased away by a police force, led by Lone. Laurel would later kill George for his infidelity and admits to killing Slavicky to ensure Beau-line gets released. When calling Catwoman, she frames her for it, marking her as a fugitive. After Phillips has a date with Lone, he discovers one of the claws in her room, deducing who she is. Despite being held in custody, she breaks out to prove her innocence. Lone attempts to confront Laurel at a press conference, after Phillips' accusations. When Laurel slips that she's responsible for the murders, she shoots Lone before he could arrest her. Catwoman intervenes to save him and stop the widow. As she scratches her face, she sees the side effects of her skin scream as her skin disintegrates. Catwoman than kicks her out of a window, but she holds on to a pipe for dear life. She tries to reach out for her and save her, but the antagonist loses her grip and falls to her death. Lone catches up with Phillips and informs her that the charges on her will be dropped. Some time later, Patience gives an artwork to Ophelia Powers, as thanks to her guidance. When Lone gets a letter from her that their relationship must end so that she could live freely. The film ends with her doing so as Catwoman.
THOUGHTS
As a kid, I would watch anything that is related to superheroes. Yet no one stopped me from watching this piece of garbage. My opinion from 2004 remains the same years later, it's just plain bad. Director Jean-Christophe Comar aka Pitof just heard the name and said he'll work from there, without knowing shit about years of source material. You think that because there was a headshot of Michelle Pfeiffer's portrayal of Selina Kyle, that it would maybe catch up but it doesn't get anywhere interesting at all. He wanted us bored out of minds and god it worked. I should've known from that 3.5 minute opening that it wasn't gonna be fun. Even Sylive Landra's editing was just disgusting. If I have to sit through the basketball scene one more time, I'm gonna go blind. That scene had too many cuts and I couldn't stand it. And did it need 7 cuts to see Lone save Phillips? No, of course we didn't need it. We also didn't need 7 cuts to see the guard throw one punch. Nor did we need 6 cuts to see him fall down. I'm at the point of saying Bohemian Rhapsody had better editing than this, and that one still has issues despite winning an Oscar for that category. The visual effects were bad than, so don't expect an improvement now. I want to love Halle Berry and she looks great in the costume, but not even she could save this snooze fest. We're supposed to like how such a timid woman would gain high confidence after being incarnated, but she makes it too weird to get there. The idea of having a split personality like Jekyll and Hyde is not what Catwoman is about, so you're pushing my buttons trying to make that so. And the fact that they approach it like so during the robbery is just dumb. If you're gonna stick with something, just go from there. She is an Oscar winning actress for crying out loud, she deserves better scripts than this. Benjamin Bratt almost brought as much cringe as she did when playing Tom Lone. Because he couldn't take the role serious, I couldn't take him serious. When he got shot, his reaction was just plain horrible that I kept questioning how he still has a career compared to his co stars. And then there's Sharon Stone. Her over the top spirit on Laurel who is plain bad just killed the buzz by the first second she started speaking. Yes, she is that bad in this movie, but she doesn't own it in a good way. The big icing for this cake is that there are so many things in this movie that make no damn sense. First off, seeing Phillips run into so many people on her way to work was so dumb I was wondering if she was gonna run over the whole world. I mean there is no way for one to bump into that much people in a semi-busy day in whatever city she's residing. The weirdest thing I noticed was how everyone wore the same thing within two days. It's like the ledge scene was supposed to be the opener, but they moved it around because they can. I won't say reshoots would've saved this movie, but at least some kind of continuity would be intact. Also, why couldn't the ad be emailed and printed out later? If that happened, Phillips wouldn't have to die and become Catwoman. And who the hell leaves a backdoor open for a restricted facility? You're just asking for someone to break in. Sure, it does look badass when she ruins her neighbor's party because he refused to turn it down, but no one tries to fight her? They don't know who she's becoming, so it would've been if that was where she started kicking ass instead of the robbery. And why were the robbers not wearing masks at the jewelry store? There could have been cameras, so it's like they don't know how to rob or they just don't care. Also, what would Laurel do if Catwoman wasn't involved? If she went through killing her husband, who would she frame? It's not like a security guard will take the fall. And if there were guards on the standby at Laurel's house, how'd they not hear the gunshots? And where the guards when Phillips was in custody? God, this entire fictional city is lazy. To wrap up, Catwoman is plain terrible for being the most unfaithful of comic book films. If you are a fan of the character, avoid this one at all costs.
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