Jason X (2002) Review

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuMNAt7xQa8

THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS OF THE DISCUSSED FILM. READERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

I keep saying how some thing should’ve been better off once peaking and I know nobody listened when it came to adapting the 10th entry for Friday the 13th, Jason X.


PLOT


The film takes place in a fictional 21st century where slasher Jason Voorhees has been captured by the government. After many failed attempts in trying to kill him for good, facility head of Crystal Lake Rowan LaFontaine considers putting him in cryosleep until a better solution. That seems to be halted when told by Sergeant Marcus (Markus Parilo) & Doctor Wimmer (David Cronenberg) they intend to experiment on him and figure out how to weaponize his regeneration abilities. That doesn’t happen when the villain breaks out of captivity continues his killing spree, wiping out every man in sight. Rowan does trap him in cryo as she wanted, but Jason still stabs her through the door which causes her to be frozen with him. They don’t get woken up until 2455, where Earth I is no longer habitable and the human race would relocate to Earth II. They first get picked up by Professor Brandon Lowe who profits off of displaying centuries old humans. He brings both Rowan & Jason to his ship, the Grendel, with the assist of his android companion Kayem-14 and students that include: Tsunaron Peyton, Janessa Zachary, Waylander, Kinsa Cooper (Melody Johnson), Stoney (Yani Gellman) and Azrael Benrubi (Dov Tiefenbach). Rowan would be revived first while Jason is left in the morgue believed to be dead. Despite Rowan warning everyone he is indeed dangerous as she remembers, it is all too late because he would eventually wake up and begin another kill count starting with intern Adrienne Thomas (Kristi Angus) who he crushes with liquid nitrogen. He then targets Stoney who he kills with a surgical machete and then goes after Azrael, breaking his back before smashing the head of crewman Dallas in the middle of a holographic game. He almost kills the engineer Crutch (Philip Williams) as well, but is luckily protected by Sergeant Elijah Brodski. He splits two teams of soldiers to track him down, ignoring Lowe’s attempt to keep him alive, but it doesn’t matter because Voorhees would still wipe them out. When he next kills the pilot Captain Lou (Boyd Banks), that causes the Grendel to crash into another station, the Solaris, which kills thousands of people in the process. After that happens does he get back his older machete and kill Lowe. The remaining group heads to an escape shuttle, but Crutch gets electrocuted by Jason in the process. Kinsa gets so overwhelmed of the horror occurring due to losing her boyfriend Stoney that she tries leaving everyone else but forgets to release the fuel lines, causing her to be incinerated via shuttle explosion. Kayem arms herself to fight off Jason and with the assist of Brodski, she’s able shoot of his left leg, right arm, right ribs and even his face. That would all be for nothing however because his body lands on the same nanite equipped medical station that revived Rowan, making him a cyborg in the process. Upgraded, he is able to behead Kayem but she is able to remain functional as Taunton retreats with her head. Waylander stays behind and sacrifices himself by separating the pontoon from the main ship so that the others can escape. Even his death would be meaningless because Jason would still reach the hill and punch a hole through it, causing Janessa to be sucked through the vacuum and die. With a docking door malfunctioning, Brodski goes outside via EVA suit to fix it and Tsuanron distracts Voorhees with a hologram of 80s Camp Crystal Lake. As soon as the door gets fixed, Brodski intercepts Jason long enough for Rowan and Tsunaron to be the remaining survivors and board the Tiamat that picks them up. As Brodski & Jason both seem to incinerate upon entering the atmosphere of Earth II, but the film ends with the implication the latter has survived as his mask is charred off and sunk to the bottom of a lake.


THOUGHTS


It’s quite obvious from the start New Line Cinema was not as cautious when it came to adapting a Jason Voorhees movie compared to their crown jewel that is Freddy Krueger. Running on fumes, we got something no one asked for before Freddy vs Jason and it is just as bad as it sounds. This is one of those movies where just because the trailer looks good, does not guarantee it’ll live up to the intended hype. Writer Todd Farmer (who plays Dallas) & Director James Isaac intend to make something action packed in its own way. Kane Hodder does rock the costumes as both original zombie Jason and his cyborg counterpart, continuing for the imposing aspect the villain is known for. The makeup effects for the gore and practical stuff for the set pieces does outshine the outdated visuals in its cheap budget, but just like its predecessor, it’s not enough to save the remaining quality that follows. I mean it’s still terrifyingly badass for something to be crushed by liquid nitrogen in between all the slice and dicing Jason is known for. The franchise has also been known to be unserious with the victims’ chemistry before death, but it’s so cringe here that I can’t wait for them to all die because that’s how annoyed I get. And I don’t like being in a position where I’m rooting for a villain. I mean I am not interesting in seeing Android nipples fall off or a professor get bondage kinky with a student via nipple clamps. There is definitely supposed to be something compelling when making a final girl out of time with Rowan, but the script forces an ensemble feeling that doesn’t match what was done in the 80s. It’s done to a point where Alexa Doig doesn’t get to standout as she’s supposed to, which is awkward since her arc is more interesting. I got nothing against Melyssa Ade, but Janessa is so annoying for being most sarcastic throughout. You could call it quite nostalgic when he gets a virtual kill of 80s Crystal Lake and yet I’m not pleased enough to call it a saving grace. As for the rest of the cast, it does feel like a hit or miss in pointing out how interesting they are. You can definitely Waylander & Brodski matched in being courageous to stop Jason no matter what, but I can definitely applaud Derwin Jordan & Peter Mensah for making those aspects believable on their end. I mean one is willing to get blown up and the other crashes onto Earth II all for the greater good. Even though it may have been in vain, credit is gonna be given here. I don’t want to sound hypocritical with my boredom towards the dynamic of Kayem and Tsunaron since I’ve been invested with how the MCU portrayed Wandavision, but the former doesn’t pull me in the same way. We know they’re into each other, but there is no time to get into the why and just hope they make it out alive which they do. Lisa Ryder makes the latter android an instant badass for executing the original Jason, but took way too long in confronting his upgraded persona, which costs her a body. And Chuck Campbell does make Tsunaron proficient enough to use his brain for the right reasons as in arming up his girlfriend and giving a half ass distraction that actually works. If anyone bored me the most was Lowe and I don’t hesitate saying that since he is enough to blame for all the bullshit that follows. Like a lot of slasher scumbags, Johnathan Potts portrayed him as an opportunistic figure desperate to make another buck. Because of that focus, he’s pretty damn stupid. I mean you really thought giving back Jason’s machete was a good idea? You thought it would be irresponsible & foolhardy to get rid of him after knowing he’s dangerous? It’s stupid fucks like him that led to Earth II being possible. Hell, I can go on and say Kinsa was really stupid not knowing how to release fuel lines, but there’s far more stupid things that made no sense. Like you can put the pieces together in why bicycles are not a thing, but then I’m losing it try to figure what the hell happened to hockey of all things being discontinued. And Rowan is supposed to be smart yet she chose to get close to Jason knowing he was armed in the opening. Of all things Kayem could’ve done, it should’ve been turning off revival station after killing Jason because that is the one thing that made him all the more unlikable which makes you wonder how the hell does Earth II have a chance against him. Still, I’m trying to figure out Jason got around the medical station so fast because we never see him sprint until the reboot made that possible. Lastly, Brodski’s crew should’ve severed him up the moment they impaled him. But of course, no one thinks ahead when there is a threat in movies like this. To get this shit over with, Jason X is the be all end all setback for a slasher franchise that made me question if being a fan was still worth it. Luckily, Freddy vs Jason finally happened and makes me forget this one exists. And considering this one takes place in the future, it’s easy to assume the events of the better follow-up took place prior thus still being conveniently canon. If you have low expectations of sci fi horror, to the point of watching Syfy like religion, then this one will be up your alley.