Superman III (1983) Review

THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS OF THE DISCUSSED FILM. READERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

They say you shouldn't fix something that doesn't need to be fixed, but that just means people don't know the difference of refurbishment. 


PLOT


1983's Superman III follows Augustus Gorman embezzle $85,000 from the payroll of the company he works for, Webscoe Industries. This gets the attention of CEO Ross Webster who instead uses him as an asset for potential financial domination. With the help of his sister Vera and his girlfriend Lorelei Ambrosia (Pamela Stephenson), they blackmail him into being part of his schemes. After Superman extinguishes a fire in a chemical plant, Clark Kent returns to Smallville for a high school reunion, where he reunites with his first crush Lana Lang; Lang is a single mother to her only son Ricky. Clark quickly grows close to them both when saving the boy from combine harvester accident. The Websters order Gus to use his weather satellite, Vulcan, to create a storm that'll destroy Colombian coffee crops that'll help him corner the market. With Superman quickly preventing that however, Gus is then ordered to neutralize him. He and Vera do so by infiltrating Ricky's birthday party that the Kryptonian was invited to. They give him synthetic Kryptonite that doesn't kill him, but instead corrupts him gradually to the point of vandalizing the Leaning Tower of Paris & Olympic Flame when not becoming aggressive upon binge drinking alcohol. He even gets manipulated by Lorelei to cause an oil spill. When Lana & Ricky notice him having a breakdown, he gets so overwhelmed that he gets split into two beings: Evil Superman and good Clark Kent. Impressively, Clark is able to defeat his other half on his own to be whole again and quickly undoes the damage of the oil spill as Superman. When he survives a collage of missile and rocket attacks, he proceeds to confront the Websters in Utah's Grand Canyon where Gus has built a supercomputer for them. Just when Gus realizes his mistake however, the device becomes self aware and transforms Vera into a cyborg. She immobilizes Ross and Lorelei before Superman uses acid from the chemical plant to destroy her and the supercomputer. Kal El leaves the remaining antagonists to be left for the authorities to deal with, and then drops off Gus at a coal mine to give him reference. Just when Lois Lane returns from a trip to Bermuda where she uncovered a story of corruption, she would quickly be jealous of Lana applying as the new secretary for Perry White (Jackie Cooper). The film ends with Superman restoring the Leaning Tower of Paris.


THOUGHTS


It is ironic that actor Christopher Reeve called out Hollywood for having sequel-itis as the 80s because the proof is in the pudding here along with many franchises that have continued to have many follow-ups over the past decades. He knew Superman didn't need to be more than a trilogy's worth of storytelling, but still went along with it since he was contracted to a multi-picture deal. It made all the right sense for Richard Lester to come back to the director's chair instead of Donner because he had the polished look that Warner Bros. wanted at the time, but it doesn't exactly work all the way. The problem is too much change occurs to the point where it almost feels like the heart is gonna go missing. Because Reeve is still involved to give unique chapter in Clark's life, he is able to remind us the true power is overcoming inner corruption and inner evil as a whole which is what happened to him. The payoff doesn't completely work though because you're distracted by so much things that don't match the flair. I didn't mind Gene Hackman's Lex Luthor being absent because it gives room for a new villain to take the spotlight, only for them to fall that is what ruins the chance of creativity. I got nothing against Richard Pryor since he is an icon to the world of comedy, but it really doesn't blend here since he just comes off as Otis who grows a conscience. I didn’t feel anything with Robert Vaughn & Annie Ross as the Websters because they didn’t feel anywhere near cunning compared to Luthor and the latter becoming a cyborg was just forcing Superman to have a good fight like with Zod. I had nothing against Lana Lang since Annette O’Toole made her so sweet and the same can be said with Ricky being the one to inspire Superman to save himself; The takeaway is that they’re basically filling in for something Lois would do had Margot Kidder not been written out and hinting at a love triangle at the end had no substance since they don’t move forward with it in The Quest for Peace. This is just the beginning of things that didn’t make much sense due to the characters being very illogical throughout. Like what is the point of selling a bunch of animatronic penguins in Metropolis? I might call it a stretch, but it would insane of an idea if they were trying to say this was a nod to The Penguin of Gotham City. What felt dumber than a blind man grabbing a construction handle and mistaking it to be a dog leash would go to Lois showing off a bikini to prove she was heading to Bermuda. I don’t see the point of swimwear being proof of a vacation when a ticket stub could’ve done it. And if Superman wanted to make his work a little easy, he could’ve tried freezing the acid to prevent the explosion. He froze a lake, so I don’t see the point of not doing it twice since he reversed time twice. I might as well call Lana blind because Clark doesn’t have any glasses on during his old yearbook photo and connect the dots he’s Superman. And what are the freaking odds for Clark to run into Gus the second he gets off the bus before going to the picnic? I mean that felt weirder than the pet dog disappearing after tending to Ricky before Clark finds him. Also, who hangs up on someone after telling someone they’re the best? Lana does to Clark and it’s weird as shit. Continuity errors even kick in when Superman talks to Lorelei at Lady Liberty at night, only for it to be daytime when he flies to the Atlantic. Ignoring all of this is gonna be hella hard because it’s too ridiculous to digest once you start. To wrap up, Superman III is the first of multiple flops in DC comics for lacking the creativity it’s supposed to go for. If you’ve enjoyed the first two deeply, avoid this no matter how much you’re tempted.