THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS OF THE DISCUSSED FILM. READERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
People think they have seen Transformers at its worst when looking at Revenge of the Fallen or Age of Extinction. I would only respond by saying they’ve forgotten about The Last Knight.
PLOT
The film takes place five years after the battle that took occurred in Hong Kong. The incident officially deems all Transformers illegal, resulting in TRF (Transformers Reaction Force) to hunt them all down. Optimus Prime has been absent due to searching for his Creator, whereas the reincarnated Megatron continues wrecking havoc on Earth. When Prime finds Cybertron in ruins, he finds the Cybertronian goddess known as Quintessa. She brainwashed him into ‘Nemesis Prime’ and sends him back to Earth to find something that’ll restore the planet. The only active ally to the Autobots on Earth is Cade Yeager who hides the remaining team in an abandoned scrapyard in a now war-torn Chicago. The remaining team includes the same team that defended Hong Kong: Bumblebee, Grimlock, Slug, Hound (John Goodman), Drift (Ken Watanabe) & Crosshairs (John DiMaggio). Apart from his assistant Jimmy (Jerrod Carmichael), he unwillingly invites a scavenger named Izabella and her companion Sqweeks (Reno Wilson) to stay with him. As Transformers continue to come to Earth, Cybertron is heading its way as well and six Cybertronian horns around the world are growing in exponential rate. The day Cade meets Izabella, an ancient transformer known as a Guardian Knight of Iacon gives him a talisman before its spark goes out. He and Bumblebee get pursued a TRF forces led by a man Santos (Santiago Cabrera), but get let go thanks to the request of former NEST soldier Colonel William Lennox, who openly dislikes the changes that have occurred since the Battle of Chicago. However, Santos plants a tracker on Bee as he leaves. Returning to base, Lennox discovers that Megatron and fellow Decepticon Barricade (Jess Harnell) are looking for a magical staff but need a talisman to guide the way. Ironically, Cade has that same talisman. Eventually, Megatron reluctantly agrees to join forces with TRF to get the staff from Cade, at the request of a team of his choosing: Barricade, Mohawk, Nitro Zeus, Dreadbot and Onslaught. The day after Izabella settles in, she goes on the run with Cade, Jimmy & the Autobots when they pursued by Decepticons. Grimlock & Slug take down a TRF convoy while the other Autobots kill Mohawk, Dreadbot & Onslaught, causing the others to retreat. After that happens, Cade encounters a human sized transformer named Cogman who invites him to the United Kingdom on behalf of his employer Sir Edmund Burton, who also has a connection to the Transformers. As he and Bumblebee head there, a fellow Transformer named Hot Rod, takes Professor Viviane Wembly to him. When both arrive, Burton explains to them Transformers have been living amongst mankind for centuries and their existence was once guarded by the Order of Witwiccans in which he’s the last living member. He then shares with Viviane her father was a member and they are direct descendants of Merlin who was the first human to encounter transformers in 484 AD. He was given the now missing staff by the Knights and because she is his descendant, she’s the only one to activate it. Burton even explains to Cade he’s been chosen to save the world as the last knight, having the purity of heart and bravery like one. All must find the staff in order to prevent it being in the wrong hands. Cade & Viviane would then search for clues left behind by the latter’s father to find the burial of the staff. Thanks to a tip from Seymour Simmons, Burton searches for the Book of Cyber-Kells at a library, revealing that Earth is actually the ancient Cybertronian enemy Unicron and the staff can drain its life with an access point under Stonehenge. As Bee & Hot Rod help Cade & Viviane avoid being captured by TRF and Barricade, they commandeer a submarine from Royal Museum, that is also a Transformer, to continue the search. At the bottom of the ocean, they find the staff but get followed by Lennox’s TRF crew. The one who takes the staff is Nemesis Prime who threatens to kill for it. He takes it for Quintessa who will drain Earth’s life to restore Cybertron. However when Bumblebee engages him, he regains his voice which converts Nemesis back to Optimus. Just upon regaining his consciousness, Megatron and Nitro Zeus take the staff. And just when that happens, the remaining Knights attempt to kill him for his brief betrayal. Surprisingly, Cade’s talisman transforms into Excalibur and he uses it to protect his friend. This causes the knights to yield and Optimus agrees Quintessa must be stopped. At Stonehenge, Megatron gives Quintessa the staff as Cybertron begins colliding with Earth. Knowing the new stakes, TRF joins forces with the arriving Autobots (thanks to Cade messaging Izabella & Jimmy) and Hot Rod, intending to take the staff back. Burton would try to take the staff from Megatron by shooting at him, but would die trying as the Decepticon shot back. As another fight ensues, Quintessa would send Infernocus into action, whereas five transform turn into a bigger one together. However, they are stoped by Prime and the Knights who transform together as Dragonstorm. Surprisingly, Izabella would use Sqweeks to destroy a gun blocking the way into Quintessa’s chamber. As Viviane retrieves the staff, the Autobots overpower and defeat Quintessa and her remaining Decepticons. When Viviane takes it back, the transfer is stopped and Earth is saved. Thankfully, Prime would save her and Cade from falling to their deaths as the chamber would turn to ruins. As Optimus would call for Autobots to return to Cybertron in hopes to rebuild it, the film ends in a shocking mid credits cliffhanger revealing Quintessa to survive from her wounds and disguise herself as human; She then offers scientists a way to destroy Unicron’s horns.
THOUGHTS
Because I’m still a fan first, I couldn’t help giving it a chance, especially since not only did Age of Extinction make $1billion but the trailers actually looked good. The latter was the same mistake I made with the 2014 predecessor and I can’t believe I fell for it again because this was the hottest mess I’ve ever seen this franchise go through. Director Michael Bay is all about making entertainment, yet he totally forgot a linear & clear narrative to follow. Steve Jablonsky’s score and improved visual effects do not save this whole film at all. To be honest, despite all the recognizable characters, it didn’t feel like a Transformers film until we reach the climactic battle at Stonehenge. That hurts for me to say as a fan. The narrative never feels clear because there are so many directions that are taken and don’t decide which lane to take. A brainwashed Optimus Prime going evil sounded genius until realizing we only got 5 minutes of it. That was what sold me and it pissed me off that wasn’t depicted as an essential plot point. Peter Cullen was able to sound frightening before going to sounding the ideal hero we’ve known him for. Prime is still cool for slaying Infernocus, but imagine how better of a film it would be if Nemesis Prime was chasing down Cade & Bee. Speaking of which, having Bee get his voice back as an excuse to be a Deus ex machina is the most disappointing part of the movie for me. We should’ve not waited 10 years for that to happen if that was how it was gonna happen. Even Sqweeks was a useless because he only existed to destroy one gun to better the odds and didn’t do shit before and afterwards. It was still cool for Frank Welker for making Megatron as cruel as he usually is, but him being mostly absent as well makes no sense. I don’t like the idea that the TRF were depicted as more of a threat than Decepticons since they were consistent in hunting down Cade. Jim Carter was definitely trying to make an unspoken badass out of the operatic Cogman, but not even he gets to be fleshed out which is a shame since Headmasters appear to be the rarest of Transformers. Another character that felt misplaced was Hot Rod. That hurts for me to say as well since the character was the infamous protagonist from the animated film. It bothered me a lot when seeing him because I don’t think Omar Sy to bring anything interesting about him apart from being a brash headstrong protector like the other Autobots. It’s already a bummer when Megatron ain’t as interesting as before, but it only gets baffling to see the creator of Transformers Quintessa fail to pick up the pace as the central antagonist. Gemma Chan was definitely trying to spice it up in presenting her as a deluded and powerful figure, but I would’ve felt that intimidating presence if given screen time. This would only make the mid credit scene pointless since we never got to see this version again (for the better). You would think that with the Transformers not impressing me, the human cast would come around and deliver. This is not the case because everyone felt wasted. I was hoping for some momentum to be gained when Josh Duhamel returns as Lennox and John Turturro returning as Simmons, but my nostalgic heart wasn’t feeling it because they aren’t able to drive the plot more than they should. There should be more to say for Lennox being a loyal ally to Autobots and Simmons should’ve created more emotional weight on why he was in Cuba and became the first human to discover Earth is Unicron. There was nothing interesting when seeing Stanley Tucci play the drunkard wizard Merlin, other than being reminded he had a different role in the prior film. I’m still not hooked with Mark Wahlberg as Cade because it’s hard to be interested in a guy that has nothing to lose. The whole time, I was never really interested in Laura Haddock as Viviane. The reason comes from she doesn’t really have any emotional weight compared to Cade. And for that, I don’t care for her being connected to the staff macguffin, nor do I think her relationship with Cade is earned. The only reason they get together is because their relatives told them to put themselves and stop overworking themselves. That is all and that ain’t enough for me to be onboard. And her dad is hardly in the movie through flashbacks, his actions never made sense. I don’t understand why he would leave a clue for her if he didn’t like having her in his office. I don’t want to hate kids, but I really hate Izabella. Isabella Merced does make it clear she wants to make a difference by wanting to fight Decepticons that killed her parents, yet she misses every opportunity possible and it’s ridiculous. At that point, Sqweeks was more useful than her. I know for sure the world had to have been stunned for Anthony Hopkins to be part of this dump since he’s done way better stuff compared to this. If the whole movie was centered on him, I would’ve appreciated the dedication the character is all about. Again, this plot is far from having a linear narrative because each direction it takes are so bad they will never make any sense to me. For example, I’d Bumblebee didn’t feel the tracker, how come no one at the scrapyard noticed until a day later? It was not invisible and no one is blind. I would’ve noticed it if I was in this movie. You want to talk about pointless live action macguffins, how about the transformer scavenger Daytrader (Steve Buscemi)? He literally exists to exposit the talisman to Cade and equip the Autobots with a ship. Knowing this, it blows my mind TRF never caught him. Also, what value does Megatron see in Mohawk? He was nowhere useful in comparison to Frenzy and Berzerker combined. And what the hell happened to that transformer disguised at an excavator at the scrapyard? Did it transform and bounce when Megatron showed up? If they’re willing to show us Hound survived Megatron, it wouldn’t hurt making clear the point of that background character. And how the fuck did Santos’ drone miss hitting Cade? It was a clear shot and I’m baffled he didn’t get a scratch from that because we all know Hound was somewhat stunned when getting a direct hit from Megatron. And lastly, what was the point of Optimus turning back into a semi truck when he showed he can fly last time? That was unnecessarily dramatic if you ask me. To get this over with, Transformers: The Last Knight is the worst thing to happen to this franchise for trying too hard to be different and feeling incapable of figuring itself out. This film and its 2014 predecessor should never have been made in the first place and I don’t understand why idiots prefer quantity over quality. If you really are a Transformers fan that prefers the latter, skip this and go straight to Bumblebee.
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