THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS OF THE DISCUSSED FILM. READERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
The superhero genre can be consistent with making hits, which can make it easy to forget a slew of films that aren’t so good. If you were to ask me what is the worst of the genre, a common answer of mine would be Batman & Robin.
PLOT
The film follows Bruce Wayne and his adopted son Richard ‘Dick’ Grayson continue their life of vigilance as the titular superheroes. Their new enemy is a former scientist turned burglar Victor Fries aka Mr Freeze. He has been stealing diamonds to keep his cryogenic suit which he wears after a lab accident rendered him, unable to live at average temperature. He is also hoping to unlock a cure to MacGregor’s Syndrome, in order to save his ill wife Nora that is in cryosleep until he can find it. Freeze is able to steal another diamond at the Natural History Museum as both heroes find themselves unable to be on the same page. In Brazil, Wayne Enterprises botanist Pamela Isley worked under Dr Jason Woodrue (John Glover), who used on research on plants to create a super soldier drug called ‘Venom’ and use on a human test subject, serial killer Antonio Diego aka Bane (Robert Swensen). When she sees Bane, she threatens to expose his experiments. This leads to him attempting to kill her by dropping a shelf of various toxins on top of her. Rather than killing her, it only mutates her, now capable of controlling plant life. She kisses Woodrue with poisonous lips, which ultimately kills him. She then takes Bane with her to Gotham, hoping to convince Bruce to fund a new project of her liking. Meanwhile, Bruce & Dick meet Barbara Wilson, the niece of their butler Alfred Pennyworth, who is invited to stay until she returns to school. The following day, Bruce unveils a new telescope for Gotham Observatory. It is here where he meets Isley for the first time. She pitches for a project that’ll help the environment, but he turns her down out of worry of how it’ll affect the population. By night, He and Dick host a charity event under their disguised personas in order lure Freeze with a diamond. Isley attends the event under her own persona as ‘Poison Ivy’, using her pheromones to have the heroes attracted to her. Their bait works because when Freeze arrives for the diamond, he gets overpowered and is taken to Arkham Asylum. However, Ivy and Bane break him out of the said prison, agreeing to eliminate their obstacle that are the heroes. The night before the breakout, Dick catches Barbara at a drag race, saving her from getting injured in the process. When they return home, Barbara explains that she is raising money for Alfred, who is dying of MacGregor’s Syndrome. Once Dick discovers Freeze broke out, he and Batman investigate his lair and find Nora in her cryo chamber. They also find out that Victor has developed a cure for the disease’s early stages. Freeze sneaks in to steal some of his spare diamonds, while Ivy seduces Robin with more of her pheromones. Although Batman warns him that she is tricking him, the boy wonder wrongfully believes that his mentor is jealous. This gives Ivy the chance to unplug Nora’s chamber as she flees, wanting Freeze for himself. When she shifts the blame on both heroes, Victor vows to freeze all of humanity starting with Gotham, while Ivy will repopulate the plant with her own set of mutated plants. He and Bane then go to Gotham Observatory to turn the telescope into a giant freeze ray. Ivy even activates Robin’s personal signal to contact him. Before he leaves, Bruce pleads with him for the last time to trust him and not to fall for her seduction. When both are out of the Batcave, Barbara finds her way in and sees a AI version of her uncle who has prepared gear for her to be a helping hand to Batman & Robin. She dons her own cape with her own persona, Batgirl, in time because she is able to help them subdue Ivy. Together, they head to the observatory to stop Freeze’s plan from becoming a success. By the time they get there, all of Gotham is frozen, which leads to the new goal to undo it. While Robin & Batgirl overpower Bane, Batman is able to defeat Freeze and thaw the city. With the city being saved, Batman then explains to Freeze that Ivy lied to him and his wife is still alive. He even offers him the chance to continue his research in exchange of the cure. Once he gives them the cure, he is returned to Arkham as Ivy’s cell mate. After Alfred is cured, the film ends with the new superhero trio continue to fight crime together.
THOUGHTS
After having a soft spot for Batman Forever, you would think that I would feel similar with this. Sadly, this would be the first of few films in this genre that would strongly disappoint me. Joel Schumacher wanted to replicate the campy fun that worked the first time around, only for it to backfire and have it look incredibly stupid throughout. Even if you can find some good like I did, which I’ll get to, it does not excuse the mess we got in general. About everything you see in this film is pure garbage. The combination of Elliot Goldenthal’s score, Stephen Goldblatt’s cinematography and the editing by Dennis Virkler & Mark Stevens, you get a visual interpretation of how a comic strip is not supposed to look, messy. Even the production design here felt creepy because it felt like another reboot, which it is not supposed to be. Even the costumes the characters wear, especially the heroes, are terribly designed, which is the most heartbreaking because they’re a core element that distinguish them from other genres. Like I didn't ask for nipples or butt cheeks to be shown when heroes are kicking ass. We’re supposed to learn how trust goes a long way because it makes family stronger, but I can barely get that because most of the cast can barely pass with their line deliveries; That is how bad they generally are. We all adore actor George Clooney for the legacy he built after this film, but it doesn’t excuse how disappointing he was playing the iconic caped crusader. He disappoints me because he oddly doesn’t feel like a hero. Despite looking the part, he doesn’t back it up because he doesn’t make him come off like he cares. He makes him like he say what he says because he has to, not wanting. I know the character is known to not trust his allies, but it doesn’t fit here, which destroys the entire performance. Chris O’Donnell is beyond annoying in his second outing as Robin. While it is sensible that he is a rebel upset of not being trusted, it doesn’t work because it feels like you’re maintaining his first arc, and copy paste it here, which ruins his growth. I want to be happy seeing Batgirl join the party, but Alicia Silverstone doesn’t fit in at all. I feel this way because while I want to respect her independency, her connection makes us forced to like her, rather than having it done fluently. As I think about the villains, the only one who makes the campiness work is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Some consider his prior films campy, so that helped fit right in as Freeze. And once you can put that behind, you are able to sympathize with him, which is the first for the genre to express as it feels more earning compared to Penguin in Batman Returns. On paper, Freeze can be remembered for being a bitter and ruthless burglar. But in reality, he’s just a loving husband trying to save his wife, who is manipulated to make things worse. This defense is sadly something I cannot share for the other villains because I’d be lying if I did. Uma Thurman was on point making Poison Ivy as seductive as she's commonly depicted in the comics, yet still annoying like the rest of the cast. I do respect that Bane is accurate to the comics of having his strength originate from the Venom drug, but the biggest takeaway is not acknowledging that he is an intelligent figure of his own right. Ignoring that and making him a mindless brute felt like I got flipped off, which is why the version we got in The Dark Knight Rises is way better than this. The biggest thing I appreciate is giving Alfred a chance to shine. People consider Schumacher's films canon to Tim Burton's due to keeping Michael Gough around as the iconic butler. He made him beloved because he brought the most gravitas to the story. Ever since he adopted Bruce after his parents' murder, he expressed nothing but paternal instinct, doing things that he thought were best for him. He allowed Vicki into the Batcave in the first film because he didn't want Bruce to lose a chance of happiness and he prepared gear for Barbara because he knew she'd help when given the opportunity, and knew Bruce needed extra hands. Seeing how far he goes for him proves how much he has always cared. With all that being said, it does not prepare you for how nonsensical the story is. You know I hate continuity errors, so I was beyond tripped out how the officers were in different directions before and after being frozen by Freeze. It gets weirder when Ivy is at one shot standing sideways next to Batman when the prior shot had her in front of him. That was dumber than how they choose not to shoot him and continue hitting him with the bat that has no effect. I can believe that Batman is always prepare for the worst, but how the hell did he have skates implanted in his suit? He didn't even know the mission involved ice until James Gordon (Pat Hingle) called him about it. If Gotham has some crazy winter seasons, that should've had a better acknowledgement. That's weirder than how he didn't have heating gloves. Freeze's gun is cool, but why would he only restrain Batman rather than freeze him completely? He and Robin are his only obstacles, so he should take the jump on this if he's gonna freeze the cops with ease. He didn't even freeze the rocket when he left him behind, which made no sense. He has no gain in giving them a chance to win. I also wonder why is Barbara still in uniform when she is on break by the time she reaches Wayne Manor? I don't think we needed to see her in uniform to be told that she goes to college. I also don't like how she tells Dick she already saved up money to give to Alfred, yet she still went to a drag race that could've killed her. If she was acting suicidal, she should've gave him the money before being anymore stupid. I even confuse myself trying to figure out how does Bane know where Gotham Observatory when Ivy instructs him to drive there. Like how does he know where that is? He doesn't act like he's been there before, so I don't get it. There are many pointless things about this movie and one that pisses me off is Bruce dating a random woman that isn't Chase. I know it's in Bruce's character to be a womanizer, but I have a hard time buying it considering how close he got with the latter. Like they don't even discuss why they split, which is irritating because they made the tension between them in Batman Forever all for nothing. It even led to stupid tension on how she calls out Bruce for calling her Ivy. I know we need tension that Bruce is slightly seduced like Dick, but I've seen this movie so many times and he does not say it at all. Where the fuck did that scene go? They had one job to get decent tension and they fucked it up here. And am I the only one still wondering how Freeze had a cell that opens from the inside, but prevents guards from opening it from the outside. Whoever designed Arkham had some shitty blueprints to design a door like that. And where the hell were the surveillance cameras at when he broke out? Gordon shows it, but which side was it at? It just looked like someone was making a documentary about him, rather than having a believable angle that he's on the run. And who the hell took the picture of Ivy and Bane getting off the plane? They're not famous, so there is no point. And why does the computer have unlimited access to figure out a password? If we're gonna acknowledge his lack of trust. that computer should have been a one chance only login. The most confusing thing about Alfred in this movie is his change of heart towards Barbara getting in on the action. You could say he allowed her to join because he was aware of the tension Batman & Robin had, but it's too sudden. She just returned to his life from a brief period and he was overprotective of her doing anything dangerous, even riding motorcycles. This is a ridiculous way to get her into the fray. Also, why do the plants consume Ivy when she falls on them? They don't kill her, but she controls them, so I don't understand how they briefly go rogue just to trap her. And how the fuck did Batman record Ivy saying she unplugged Nora? I refuse to believe he was in range to record it when he was fighting vines. If his suit auto recorded that scene from afar, then fucking explain that shit because I'm not gonna go if it's not? And lastly, who thought it would be a good idea to have Ivy and Freeze as cellmates? She broke him out and attempted to kill his wife. Remember the red flags idiots. This solves nothing and adds more trouble because they could break out again or Freeze could just kill her. After all of that has been said, I have a hard time believing people can overlook these issues. To get this over with, Batman & Robin is by far one of the worst (superhero) movies ever made. It shouldn't exist. This should never have been made and I refuse to accept that there are people that enjoy it. If you really are a Batman fan, you would ignore this film no matter what.
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