THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS OF THE DISCUSSED FILM. READERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
I’m used to hearing a good worth of mouth for movies before I check them out, but boy did I feel unprepared for the lackluster of Marvel’s Madame Web despite hearing of it.
PLOT
The 2024 film takes place in 2003 and follows Cassandra Webb who grew up without her biological parents as her biological mother Constance (Kerry Bishé) died giving birth to her in 1973. As an adult, she became a paramedic in New York and befriended fellow medic Ben Parker & officer O’Neil (Mike Epps). After falling off a bridge on the job, she has a near death experience until her partner revives her. However, she starts experiencing visions and mistakes them to be deja Vu when seeing moments occur before they do. She starts accepting she can see the future when seeing the death of O’Neil and fails to save him. In the meanwhile, Ezekiel Sims has gained enhanced physical abilities after being bit by a rare spider he took from Constance and killed her for in ‘73. Being bit by spider also made him clairvoyant and has been seeing visions of three super-powered women aligning to kill him. In the present, they’re only teenagers who haven’t gained their powers yet: Julia Cornwall, Anya Corazon & Mattie Franklin. He tracks them down at Grand Central Terminal but Cassie becomes drawn to them as well. When she senses danger, she protects the girls from Sims by rushing out of the city and hijacking a taxi to take refuge in a forest. She explains to them of her powers and insists them to stay hiding while she finds answers to who Sims is. She does discover through her mom's notes that the two knew one another. The girls go against her instruction to stay hiding when going to a public diner. Sims does find them again, but Cassie rams him with the cab and has the girls take refuge with Ben as she goes to Peru to know what happened to her mother. In '73, she did spider research at the amazon to study the possible healing properties with the one Sims took. She meets the indigenous tribe Las Aranas and tribal chief Santiago (Jose Maria Yazpik) who helped Constance give birth before dying. He puts her in a ritual of astral projection that puts her in a higher plane of consciousness where she can see every possible future. Not only does she see Sims kill her mother, but also sees her mom was so curious of the spider's healing properties for the sake of saving her from a hereditary disease she was previously suffering from. Knowing the whole truth now, she returns to NY to protect the girls. When Ben's sister-in-law Mary (Emma Roberts) goes into labor earlier than expected, he takes her to the hospital and takes the girls with him. Sims intercepts them again, but Cassie interferes again by crashing an ambulance into him. She takes the girls with her to a condemned firework factory to set up a trap and calls for a medical helicopter in advance. With her powers it almost seems like the ladies have the upper hand until Sims destroys the chopper. When the girls hang for dear life, Cassie is able to use her powers to simultaneously save them while the antagonist gets crushed to death by a sign. When she falls off the building too, she becomes blind after her eyes get struck by fireworks. When recovering at the hospital, Mary has already given birth to her son Peter. The film ends with Cassie assuring the girls that despite her disabilities, she can fully see into the future and promises to mentor them for the future roles when the time comes.
THOUGHTS
I tried very hard to give this movie a benefit of the doubt because I gave a fair defense with Morbius and I proudly identify Venom as guilty pleasure. In this case, I hate to say this movie is neither because Director SJ Clarkson doesn't pick a lane on what kind of superhero movie it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be an origin story, but we get false advertising in action scenes that never happen. We only get like 10 seconds of cool costumes that don't get any fieldwork and the chases are so repetitive based on how they're being edited you just wait for it to be over. You have an interesting narrative yet the delivery is so bland on its efforts to be different from the platform we're used to. I couldn't even stand the product placement done define the based era because I don't want to think about Blockbuster or Pepsi Cola during what is supposed to be super-powered mayhem. It's a relief that this is not MCU canon the way Venom & Morbius are because there is no appropriate way these issues. You already expect a deep connection to Spider-Man due to these characters being related to him in his previously written comic book arcs, but it's so ridiculous on how it's presented. It is believable for Cassie to become Madame Web as the story progressed but as the cliffhanger presents it, there is no way we get three Spider-Women before Peter Parker ever becomes Spider-Man. And all the easter eggs they do to set up the infamous origin of the iconic superhero is forced like trying to get your spouse's parents to like you. Like there is no reason for the tribe to have vines around their body in resemblance to Spider-Man's costume, nor do we need to be reminded Ben is going to be murdered. I don't want/need to be reminded of it when I'm trying to appreciate Adam Scott making a loyal friend to the character. After Dakota Johnson concluded starring in the Fifty Shades trilogy, I refused to believe she could do another bad franchise related movie until it came to this. Seeing Cassie try to socialize with everyone that isn't Ben is cringe because it's like she doesn't want to be likable. Like there is no way she doesn't know how to talk to kids and handle handmade gifts when she was a kid herself. If you're telling me she never did that in her youth, then that's sad as fuck. Of course it feels excused due to how her orphaned life made her feel alone, but I don't think she needed to be awkward as she was to prove that point. As for the three Spider-Women, I don't connect with them at all compared to Cassie not because they're women, but because I don't feel the chemistry between either actress. Sydney Sweeney approaches Julia as the shy one who feels misplaced with her family drama, that is coping with her mom's schizophrenia. Isabela Merced makes Anya the over-confident one who has to live on her own due to her dad being deported while Celeste O'Connor makes Mattie one with a chip on the shoulder due to her wealthy parents being absent. I didn't like Mattie at all because she didn't even budge in bonding with them until Cassie loses her original sight. And I know Tahar Rahim made a lazy ass villain out of Sims because he blindly believes he can do what he wants to take undeserving power because his upbringing was worse than others. Ain't no way being poor excuses you shooting a pregnant woman. With all of these characters being so bland, it makes the story so difficult in its effort to tell viewers to set your own path because there are so many moments that make no damn sense. Like why doesn't the tribe pursue Sims if there were enough to do the childbirth? It's not like he went far by the time they made it to the camp. Hell, they could've given the spider bite right then and there rather than wait til they reach their cave pool for traditional purposes. I don't even see the point of not raising Cassie if they know she'd be safer with them. If they want to give her the answers of her life when she gets older, there's no reason to let her be adopted in the States. And why doesn't Sims give the anecdote sooner to the agent he seduced and poisoned for the password to NSA technology? If she lied, he would've bought himself more time. And the odds of all central characters being on the same train is uncanny because I'd rather see visions of Cassie saving the girls one at a time instead of simultaneously. Also, why does Cassie keep the jacket and the taxi in her efforts to keep her cover? She's easily making herself noticeable when doing this, whether or not she has her own car. The girls make the worst decision ever by leaving wherever Cassie leaves them. That's dumber than them dancing at the diner long enough for Cassie to enter the scene. I know you gotta drive the plot to show Sims' determination in controlling & changing his future, but I would've found his pursuit more believable if he put trackers on them at the train station. Or he could've had better visions rather than rely on NSA surveillance. I know his powers are limited because he stole the spider, but a more realistic advantage would've suited him to be closer to be intimidating. And how is it even possible for SIms & Cassie to talk to each other telepathically? If his powers are limited compared to her, this shouldn't be possible. Again I know Ben is a good guy, but it's weird how fast he chooses to look after the girls while Cassie goes to Peru to know what happened to her mom. This is worse than him taking the girls with him to the hospital when they're supposed to hide. This also makes me wonder how did Cassie get a plane that'll take her to Peru when she's falsely accused of kidnapping? If this takes place years after the Twin Towers tragedy, it should've been harder for her to get there. And why the hell would Sims jump into the ambulance when he knows he’s not strong enough catch it? If he was trying to leap over it, that should’ve been clear. And if anything, he should’ve ducked under if he didn’t want to get hit. And my god the audacious bullshit I witnessed seeing Cassie use debris as a shield like she was Captain America. Ain’t no way she got the strength this whole time. Saying all of these issues, I don't believe anyone could ignore any of it to have a good time. To get this over with, Madame Web is one of the worst Marvel Comics adaptations for having zero faith in its source material and not being any close to entertaining. If you want something epic like The Avengers, this ain’t it. You want to see something stupid like Elektra? This is meant for you.
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