THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS OF THE DISCUSSED FILM. READERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
Most franchises have entries that age terribly. It broke my heart upon realizing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles suffered big time with their first dud in the 90s
PLOT
The threequel dubbed Turtles in Time follows the infamous gang of reptile heroes (Leonardo [Mark Caso/Brian Tochi], Michelagelo [David Fraser[Robbie Rist] Donatello [Jim Raposa/Corey Feldman] and Raphael [Matt Hill/Tim Kelleher]) live in an abandoned subway station with their adopted father Splinter (James Murray). When their friend April O'Neil (Paige Turco) visits him in the midst of her personal vacation, she gives them all gifts. Particularly, she gives Splinter an ancient Japanese scepter. Just when she observes it, lightning strikes and she is taken to 1603 feudal Japan. The one who would take her place in 1990s New York is Kenshin (Henry Hayashi), son of Lord Norinaga (Sab Shimono). Realizing there was an unintentional time swap between both characters, the turtles agree to go to the past to save their friend. When they warp through time, they get replaced by four of Norinaga's Honor Guards. In the meantime in New York, Splinter and Casey Jones (Elias Koteas) watch over them all while the heroes have a 60 hour timeframe to come back. Casey would go the extra mile by trying to occupy the guards, helping them adjust to the 20th century until they have to return. In Japan, it is Mikey who gets ambushed by the rebel named Mitsu (Vivian Wu) and loses the scepter. The other brothers would rescue April from Noringa's castle before they go looking for him. However, they would also free Whit who resembles Casey. When they reach the woods, they get attacked by Mitsu's forces, mistaking them to be Noringa's actual forces until they unmask themselves, revealing to be related to Mikey. The turtles reach the village to reunite with their brother, only to be attacked by an English trader named Walker (Stuart Wilson). They only retreat when the turtles fight back. The heroes would the gain respect from the village when they save a child named Yoshi (Travis A. Moon). As Walker bargains with Norinaga over weapons for gold, Mikey is also able to console Mitsu over her lover Kenshin. With the original scepter missing in 1603, Donnie tries to forge a replica until Raph & Mikey break it by accident. Unable to find another way home, Mitsu would warn the turtles that Norinaga is buying Walker's guns to attack the village by next morning. Raph would find the original scepter and believe Mitsu was hiding it, until her grandfather would admit he did it to convince them to take her place in the fight. However, Whit would betray everyone by taking the scepter and abducting Mitsu, taking her to Norinaga. His actions come from being a spy to Walker. planning to be paid as an equal. But of course, Walker never planned to fulfill that promise. Upon realization, the turtles would arrive and free all of Norinaga's prisoners to join the fight. Leo would even succeed in defeating Norinaga in a sword duel. Walker would try to escape with the scepter via boat, but Whit would stop him by using a catapult to knock him off the dock. Mikey and Raph consider staying due to being truly appreciated by the village. However, they ultimately accept going home just when Kenshin activates the scepter in the present. April would come back with Leo, Donnie & Raph but Mikey's hesitance would make him miss the trip. Luckily, he would take a separate trip and swap with the honor guard in time before the scepter's light would burn out. Although Mikey would do right in his promise to bring Kenshin back, he would quickly begin feeling depressed of growing up. Thankfully, the film would end on a happy note when Splinter cheers him up with his own impersonation of Elvis Presley. THOUGHTS
It’s sadly common for some childhood favorites of mine to age badly. So as a fan of this franchise, I was heartbroken to accept even this is actually terrible instead of generally fine. You would think it wouldn’t be too bad for a new director to step in and pick up the pace, well it backfires in the hands of Stuart Gillard who doesn’t match the energy from the past. The editing is fine for the action scenes, but that ain’t the only thing that’s gonna keep me interested. I’m relieved the turtles are still able to make me laugh with moments such as Leo cutting Norinaga’s hair, Mikey dissing Kurt Russell, Splinter’s whack Elvis impression or the guards going to a bar. Just because I get to smile a bit, does not excuse how the costumes look. Their costumes looked cheaper this time and this shouldn’t be a problem when you’re three movies deep. I’m relieved that Splinter doesn’t look too bad. I do think the turtles and Splinter are still entertaining characters but they oddly don’t bring anything new to the table this time. They don’t really give any more depth apart from being selfless heroes and great friends towards April. Im not even interested with any of the human characters because not even any of them bring anything exciting for me to take interest. Time travel normally is exciting since the concept where you can only swap with someone you share the same weight ratio is an intriguing element, but they don’t make the time explaining why it works like that. I know they didn’t wanna have another story against Shredder, but this could’ve not been the only direction for the story to take. I mean the costumes are good enough to believe we’re exploring two different time periods, but it’s hard for me to keep caring because there is so much going on with the story that make no damn sense to me. Going from the top, why is the manhole always open? That’s like asking for gangs to jump you. The most technical thing of the time swap that confuses me has to be how April gets to keep her Walkman when heading to 1603 Japan. It’s not like it’s part of her clothing, so this is a weird way to get the guards scared of modern technology. The same must be said with the Rolex because that’s lousy product placement. I’m even surprised April was able to adapt to the situation so quickly because however smart she is, it was too fast for her to stand her ground with people who would kill her in the blink of an eye. And ain’t it a little embarrassing for not a single henchman putting up a good fight against the turtles? Misty gets a pass because she actually jumped Mikey, but everyone else is worse than the Foot because they don’t even wait their turn and still get their asses handed to them. It’s cool for the turtles to live up on their ninja status when sneaking up on people, but did three of them had to do it for one guy to save Mikey? Two could’ve taken down Walker and they would’ve gotten home sooner. I know the turtles are always gonna be brothers bound to bicker, but it pisses me off Raph & Mikey chose to do so over the scepter replica knowing damn so well they again could’ve gotten home sooner. The weirdest thing about the climax is that the turtles free the prisoners from their shackles and all of them chose to take the front door out instead of the garbage chute. I really don’t see the point of not doing what the turtles did with April & Whit. I did originally thought it was cute for Yoshi to say goodbye to Raph because he encouraged him to have fun as a kid. The problem is that he doesn’t do the same for Mikey who saved his fucking life. Leo gets a pass because it’s not like anyone knew what CPR was at the time. Ignoring this shit feels impossible but if you think you can, I wish you good luck. To get this over with, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time is the worst movie of the franchise for refusing to give proper direction on a story that could’ve been cooler if done with passion like before. I really have a hard time imagining people like this movie but if you are reading this and actually do, good for you. If you didn’t like this film at all, just go straight to the animated films, particularly Mutant Mayhem that make up for it.
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