THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS OF THE DISCUSSED FILM. READERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
In life, the most random things can happen to us but that doesn’t mean they will.
PLOT
Vampire’s Kiss follows literary agent Peter Loew who lives his life as he pleases. When not working, he consumes himself with drugs & alcohol, as well as having one night stands with various women. However, his mental health would slowly decline with each session he has with his psychiatrist Dr. Glaser (Elizabeth Ashley). It would truly begin after a series of events that feel unexplainable to him. After taking home a girl named Jackie (Kasi Lemmons) to his apartment, they would find themselves frightened when a bat flies through his window. But Peter would confess to Dr. Glaser he was aroused when he saw it. He would see Jackie again, only to rudely ditch her at an art museum. When he hooks up with another woman named Rachel, she bites his neck during sex with fanged teeth but the mark would be absent by morning. This would be the beginning of Peter casting doubt on reality. When he cuts his neck shaving and bandages the minor wound, he believes it to be where he got bit and assumes he’s becoming a vampire. He would go through severe mood swings and try reconnecting with Jackie, but a jealous Rachel prevents him from doing so. At work, he would torment his secretary Alva Restrepo by forcing her to search through enormous paper files for a particular contract. The humiliation would go so far she would try staying at home to avoid home. But he would trick her to come back by pretending to be nice. Even when she succeeds in finding it, Peter would finish torment by raping her and biting her neck, believing he's having sex with Rachel. With no fangs growing, he buys his own set of novelty fangs and continues to stalk more prey. He succeeds after biting another woman at the club, but to death. The night after this, Peter would see Rachel for real, who does recognize him but admits it has a long time since they've seen each other. He tries to attack her in attempt to publicly reveal her vampiric persona, but is kicked out of the club in the process. Walking alone all night until the immediate morning, he would hallucinate confessing his past actions to Dr. Glaser. By the time he would return to his apartment with a broken piece of wood, he would be attacked by Alva's brother Emilio (Bob Lujan) for his actions against his sister. He would then gruesomely press the wood onto his chest like a stake, which kills him. With Emilio fleeing, the film would end with Peter envisioning Rachel one last time after drawing his last breath.
THOUGHTS
There have been so many movies where you don't think about seeing until you end up seeing it. This was one of those movies because it was challenging to get myself interested. So the day I chose to make the time for it, I just said 'Fuck it' because I've seen worse. By the time it was over, I gotta admit what a picture. Thanks to having low expectations, I was able to enjoy it better than others may have. In the oddest setting possible, Writer Joseph Minion and Director Robert Bierman are able to craft a story that is bolder than others are thinking. This is deeply a reflection of the pressure we put on ourselves and others over things that aren't important. We obsess over irrelevant things it can lead to us forgetting how to separate what really is important in the first place. This would've not been visible had it not been for the outrageously great performance from Nicolas Cage. As Peter Loew, he is simultaneously narcissistic and eccentric which is the whole point of all the energy he unleashes. The guy is willing to say the alphabet to prove a point. That already says this is a guy who overworked himself so much he couldn't figure things out the way he thought. He goes on and off with an accent because he knows he'll get the attention he wants. The fact that Rachel was real and he was imagining she turned him into a vampire proved how lost he really was. This is clearly not the kind of protagonist to root for because he never sees himself in the wrong, which is a massive echo towards masculinity. Knowing how bad he is, you don't exactly feel bad for him by the time he meets the end because by then, he just had to be put out of misery. Cage might be the star, but he wasn't the only one who got my attention. I have to be honest when I say Jennifer Beals had me following every move she made as Rachel. The whole time, I wanted to believe she was a seductive vampire, but even I was unaware of the truth until the end. Again, seeing her be afraid of Peter's actions towards her proves how insane he became. It shouldn't be shocking when I say the only character I was rooting for was Alva. María Conchita Alonso makes it clear she is the most innocent one because all she wants to do is get by. And what she gets in return? Being harassed by the absolute worst dude in the workplace. Sure, murder isn't the best option but she deserved justice and her brother extracted that. If he didn't do anything about it, no one would and that would be terrible for her to live with. So when Emilio did what he did, I said "Bravo". I respect this movie for the directions it took, but there were a few moments throughout that I would identify as too confusing to me or just unnecessary. For example, immediately focusing on the opening, I do find it weird for Peter to lay on the therapist’s couch with his shoes on. They already want us to know he’s an asshole, but this is the weirdest way to do it. Even early into the movie there is already continuity errors. I say this because the decor for the apartment complex had two different stark designs. One shot had it exposed in concrete, whereas the other showed it covered it red carpet. Did the crew shoot in two different buildings and forgot to get rid of a take? I really don’t want to think about this shit. I knew it was bound for him to bite a stranger in public, but I can’t believe he was able to kill a woman in an empty room. I’m sure clubs have empty rooms, but that room was way too big to be empty. I already am annoyed with Peter’s actions throughout, but god was it weird to see a vendor interrupt a couple making out just to give them their drinks. There wasn’t a line being held up, so that was a pointless of him. I then wonder if Alva really asked for a raise after Peter chased her to the bathroom. It seemed logical to do because she needs the job, but it feels out of place for her to do it in looked like the same day. Yes it’s important to speak up immediately, but it still feels hard for me to believe. Also, I know Alva is pretty innocent of a human being, but not even I was surprised of Peter to trick her to come back to work just to bully her some more over the file/contract she has to find. What really surprised me is how the cab driver did not react to him freaking out about it. He didn’t even say a word when he allowed a pit stop for Alva to visit her brother. That was weirder than him not even counting the money Peter gave him because he could’ve just ripped him off with a few $1s And in all honesty, the only bad decision Alva makes is pulling out the gun in public, her brothers workplace. I get that she’s scared, but she should have been more cautious about it. Also, is it a thing for newspapers to put pictures of dead bodies on any of their pages like the front? If so, someone tell me because it was hard for me to believe when the New York Post released a pic of the dead blonde woman on the front freaking page. Ignore these issues and you’ll still be able to enjoy this film for what it is. In short, Vampire’s Kiss is indeed a movie that is enjoyable for letting loose on the insanity. You want a movie that has a complication with seriousness yet is still effective by the end of it? This is the one for you.
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